“If I knew I'd live this long, I would have taken better care of myself.”
It’s an observation we could probably all make. Each of us could live more consciously, exercise more consistently, rest more deeply, eat more nutritiously and think more positively. Even with our occasional lapses and shortcomings, it’s still better than what most patients do.
Which creates a little problem.
If patients get even a whiff of a “healthier than thou” attitude from you, you’re toast. That’s because of two powerful emotions that are rarely discussed in the context of doctor/patient relationships.
Guilt
Patients have many opportunities to feel guilty simply by consulting your office.
Guilt can arise when we know, but do not do. We know we should lose some weight, exercise, drink more water, floss our teeth more regularly, keep our appointments or whatever. But we don’t. The result? Guilt.
Feelings of guilt can also come from doing what we know isn’t good for us, such as drinking too much alcohol, eating that greasy cheeseburger, sleeping on our stomach or other behaviors that sabotage our health or well-being.
Consulting your office can make many patients more conscious of their shortcomings and what they “should” be doing. No wonder they’re anxious to disengage from you and your practice as soon as their physical symptoms sufficiently subside. They feel small, weak and guilty when they’re around you. So lighten up. Don’t invest your self-esteem in something you can’t control—such as what patients do.
It gets worse. Because today’s guilt blossoms into tomorrow’s...
Shame
It was Mark Twain who observed that, “Man is the only animal that blushes–or needs to.” If blushing is a physiological response to shame, then avoiding you in the grocery store and seeing a different chiropractor when they have their relapse is a patient’s emotional response to shame.
“Have you been doing those stretches we talked about?”
“Your scan looks worse. Is there something you haven’t told me?”
“Did you tell your friend to give us a call?”
“I thought you wanted to fix this, rather than get a patch job.”
“What do you think will happen if you keep missing your visits?”
Busted!
Shame also rears its ugly head months or years later when their original problem returns. Patients respond in a couple of predictable ways:
1. Blame chiropractic as being ineffective.
2. Find a new, better chiropractor.
3. Return to be confronted by you.
If you have any hope of having a stable practice, you must get your fair share of reactivations. To accomplish this you’ll want to talk about the dismissal process early on in your relationship, explain the likelihood of a relapse and let each patient know that there will be absolutely no “I-told-you-so” if or when they should return. (The purpose of our Road to Recovery chart.) Moreover, you’ll want to keep in touch with these inactive patients so they know they’re always welcome back should the need arise.
Are you merely “trading” patients with other chiropractors in your community? Look for ways to avoid inflicting guilt or shame. Win the battle and the war.