During your new patient consultations listen for words representing absolutes, such as never, ever, always, forever and every. As in “I’ve had this forever” and “I never sleep through the night.”
Forever is a long time. Never means not even once. Always means there are no exceptions. Absolutes rarely describe health issues accurately.
Absolutes are convenient, but they’re rarely true. They often serve to hide or cover up something important. Linguistically, they can be used to separate us from self-responsibility or dismiss situations that conflict with such sweeping generalities. Declarations using absolutes are like road signs: “Do Not Enter” or “Detour.”
But don’t fall for it. Instead, when you hear patients describing circumstances with absolutes, dig deeper. “What do you mean never?” “When you say always, do you mean there are absolutely no exceptions?” “Ever? Tell me more.”
Listen carefully. Dig deeper. Follow up. It is often a clue or access for healing.