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Telling the Truth

What are you hiding from?I was inspired to write this posting after thinking about how I used to be. For years, I tried to say the right things and do the right things to be liked, appreciated and for the ultimate desire: to be admired by others. In fact, if the truth be told, I lived for others. I suspect this trap has ensnared others.

Living life as a chameleon is not only hard work, it doesn’t produce the affirmation commensurate with selling one’s soul for acceptance. Worse, trying to show up in a way likeable to others is not only a draining, full time job, it surrenders your life to a beige mediocrity. Attempting to be liked by others is an endless game without half-time breaks or even a scorecard. Getting sucked into this vortex practically guarantees obscurity and ineffectiveness. It’s the perfect con that distracts us from making a difference.

I remember a very famous chiropractor who once admonished, “If you’re not pissing a few people off, you’re not doing anything!”

If you’re a chiropractor, part of your responsibility is to consciously and methodically, attract your “tribe.” Readers of my work know that I use the word “tribe” rather frequently. And for good reason. Your job is to plant your flag (claim your territory) and draw near those who share a similar worldview. Otherwise, your mission degenerates to pathetic attempts to be liked by everyone, which practically guarantees you’ll be appreciated by few.

How do you attract your tribe? You reveal yourself. You take a stand. You share what’s true for you.

Scary, I know. But look around. The people you admire, the people you follow, the people you respect have a point of view. Sure, you may not agree with everything they utter, but you respect them anyway.

The fear is that if you reveal what you believe to be true, others who don’t hold your views will reject you. What’s so amusing is, many already have! Your attempt at being attractive to everyone has already caused some to reject you. Which keeps you trapped in the status quo. Not that there’s any status in the status quo!

Stepping out takes courage. Do you have what it takes?

Turns out, all the personalities you follow, whether you love or despise them, have all stepped out. Similarly, when you step out, it will cause some patients to find you more attractive and others to find you less attractive. Are you prepared to risk the less, in the process of being fully you?

If the chameleon thing isn’t working, muster the courage and take a stand. When you do, take notice that the world doesn’t end. In fact, just the reverse.

Comments (8)

Doctors that are standing for something are simply the most attractive doctors to almost all patients. If the doctor has any people skills at all, he realizes that some of his patients are going to disagree with him. They should be allowed to do so without his panties getting in a bunch. Waaaaah, some of my patients don't agree with me... get over it. In the long run if you speak the truth, you will attract like minded individuals that will carry your torch to the masses and things will grow from a correct position.

Well said Bill.

It was a shock to figure out eventually that I had actually gotten into chiropractic largely because I wanted the approval and because I wanted to help (rescue) certain people (family). Guess who ended up wanting the least amount of help and offerred the least amount of approval?

Dennis

Ian Culbert, DC:

Yohann...very nicely said. I fully agree. Plant your flag, attract your tribe, but stay away from "it's my way, or the highway". Make yourself real. Speak the truth. Be congruant with yourself. Do what you say and say what you do. I have become to accept this of my practice, and surely enough, it continues to grow. Even more important, I am beginning to accept this in my life...and it continues to satisfy me at more and more levels.

I really like these blogs...thanks Bill for providing this service!

Yohann:

I can resonate will both Bill and Tony's comments. Certainly, it can't (and isn't) be good for you to always change who you are and what you're about to please people.
At the same time, nobody likes being lectured to, talked down to, and that's what often happens when we take a stand. We plant our feet in the sand, and make everything about us. Like Tony is saying. But what if we could do both? Be ourselves, and let others be too? That would be attractive. The speech would go like this: "Here's what I do. Would you like to be part of it?" I've been doing this for close to a year. Or I should say, trying my very best to do just that. Telling my truth, not forcing it on anyone, no pressure, but no keeping the truth hidden either.
People can feel the truth. They feel the honesty, and the character it takes to be true. And it's highly attractive.

Dr. Mitch Yourchek:

Cheers to all my fellow "not too brights" out there!

Dr Gene:

Bill

Has our profession degenerated into this same mentality? Aren't the schools (and state boards) trying to make chiropractors "all things too all people"? What if we take a stand on subluxation detection/correction ALONE. Is that not enough? Is a competently functioning nerve system not enough to "plant our flag" in? As a profession, are we "chiropractic chameleons"?

Thanks for emphasizing Bill's point. I am certainly honored to be part of his tribe, but maybe that's because I am "not too bright." I just happen to love the principle; and so do A LOT of my paying-out-of-their-own-pocket practice members!

Tony Russo:

Hello Bill,
Glad to see you're up so early.
In principle, I'm with you all the way. Although this message also opens the door to the "not too bright" hanging up pamphlets, putting a bible or a cross in every room and only accepting the "saved" as new patients. And there are many stupid enough to do just that.
I might draw a long or short beard of experience, but I found that making your statement, tempered though, it great. At the same time, realized when people don't want to entertain your "ministroni" and just shut up is even greater.
It also opens the door to, again, not too bright to commit the cardinal sin and, "make it all about you and not about them".
After these current 50 years on this earth, I find that "shut up and listen" works real good. You'll learn lots.
And the not too bright, "here's my position, my soap box, and that's it. You can't move me from here. I'm digging in my feet. Hey, are you listening? That's OK, f...orget them if they don't want to listen. Hmmph. Hey, where is everybody? Hello...hello...helllooooo."
People come to a Chiropractor primarily for relief. Once attained, maybe, just maybe, you're good, to maintain it. Once attained, after 10 years, maybe just maybe to promote better health and wellness. They don't give two royal sh...rips about my "position".
I'm certain I won't see this on the Comments section.

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From November 4, 2007 3:38 PM

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