I was inspired to write this posting after thinking about how I used to be. For years, I tried to say the right things and do the right things to be liked, appreciated and for the ultimate desire: to be admired by others. In fact, if the truth be told, I lived for others. I suspect this trap has ensnared others.
Living life as a chameleon is not only hard work, it doesn’t produce the affirmation commensurate with selling one’s soul for acceptance. Worse, trying to show up in a way likeable to others is not only a draining, full time job, it surrenders your life to a beige mediocrity. Attempting to be liked by others is an endless game without half-time breaks or even a scorecard. Getting sucked into this vortex practically guarantees obscurity and ineffectiveness. It’s the perfect con that distracts us from making a difference.
I remember a very famous chiropractor who once admonished, “If you’re not pissing a few people off, you’re not doing anything!”
If you’re a chiropractor, part of your responsibility is to consciously and methodically, attract your “tribe.” Readers of my work know that I use the word “tribe” rather frequently. And for good reason. Your job is to plant your flag (claim your territory) and draw near those who share a similar worldview. Otherwise, your mission degenerates to pathetic attempts to be liked by everyone, which practically guarantees you’ll be appreciated by few.
How do you attract your tribe? You reveal yourself. You take a stand. You share what’s true for you.
Scary, I know. But look around. The people you admire, the people you follow, the people you respect have a point of view. Sure, you may not agree with everything they utter, but you respect them anyway.
The fear is that if you reveal what you believe to be true, others who don’t hold your views will reject you. What’s so amusing is, many already have! Your attempt at being attractive to everyone has already caused some to reject you. Which keeps you trapped in the status quo. Not that there’s any status in the status quo!
Stepping out takes courage. Do you have what it takes?
Turns out, all the personalities you follow, whether you love or despise them, have all stepped out. Similarly, when you step out, it will cause some patients to find you more attractive and others to find you less attractive. Are you prepared to risk the less, in the process of being fully you?
If the chameleon thing isn’t working, muster the courage and take a stand. When you do, take notice that the world doesn’t end. In fact, just the reverse.